Saturday, September 01, 2012

God's message

When I was a student, I was used to things sprawled over my bed: pens, books, papers. I would even wake up with my backpack still slung over my shoulders, without having to brush my teeth. At other times, instead of my saliva watering my pillow, it would be the blot of a highlighter on my sheets greeting me as I wake up.

But that has changed. I'm no longer a student––no pressures, no requirements. Now that I'm sick and depressed, I'd be left to my thoughts and to prayer before sleeping. Last night, I even felt too tired, even though my life hasn't been that stressful.

I've tried adapting with lots of books. I'd stack them on my bed, but I would read them at an inequitable pace: thick books are given a day, thin books stretched over a week. I would even read two or three books at the same time. These stacks would not usually fall off my bed because: my body has been used to the immobilization, with the spine disease and what not; I'm used to sleeping with the stacks on my bed.

But today, I wake up with books on the floor. Four books are scattered unhurt, except for the bookmark being spit out of Changing Minds. My Bible is left with me on my bed. For a while, I haven't read my Bible because I see snippets of Scripture on my phone, on my iPod and in the books that I read. With the Bible not falling off, I sense there must be something. It's as if the Spirit told me: You're reading all those books. Read me instead. 

I bring the Bible to the bathroom and opened to Psalm 22 (NIV):

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?
O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
It would seem just like my usual morning devotion, with the psalmist David's rants sharing my sentiments––until I reach verse 17, "I can count all my bones; people stare and gloat over me," and the number 288 lingered in my head, almost ineradicably. Is that the number of bones that I have? I didn't have Google at hand so I just flipped over to Psalm 28:8:
The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.
Must this be the message the Lord wants to tell me? I look at other books. How many books are there that have 28:8's, or is there a book with 2:88, or should it be the 2nd book, 8th chapter, 8th verse for Kings or Samuel or Chronicles?

Later today, I ask my friend how many bones does a human body have, and she tells me 206. I go to my phone's Psalm 20:6 (NKJV) and read this:
Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving strength of His right hand.
I guess that must be it: two verses almost meaning the same, differing only by the tenses. I know I'm frail. I hope this encourages me enough to be strengthened all the time.