I envy you who have a crumpler
You who can spare thousands of bucks on richly texturized
and colorfully pleasing fabric
You who can enjoy the compartmentalization and the protection
amid the compactness and the style
You who can dash around and stash around
the lightweight burgundies of drudgery
You who can carry with you The Chumpy, The HooJah,
The Lanyard, The Hee-Goer and The Western Lawn
You who have the opportunity to sway with the wind
without having to bend your backs
You who have the fashion for living eruditely
while simultaneously elegantly
I envy you who have the time and the fortune
to have what you want
and not be punished for doing so later on